Happy SUNDAY!

Salam..
I'm wishing you a very good day...

Alright, Its been a while ( like so long) since my last post..haha..Well every time i feel like writing something, I fee like hurmm where to start...so many things had happened and i cannot chose the perfect event  to start with..but no worries, i think today i know where to start.

Currently i am staying in a house with a few mates, still studying and most of time i prefer to do my things by myself..Its a habit i guess, cuz everybody has their own passion, what they like and don't..for me its normal..

but it's not going to be normal when it touched the issue of respect, and attitude...which fall under the same category i think..

I am a simple person, yet complicated...I don't really like to make a fuss out of something unless it is related with respect...cuz for me, respect is something big...u must have your own reason for respecting someone...when you show to the people that you are nice, you must act like one you see...this is not about you want to look perfect in front of others, but just be nice and considerate...don't be such a hypocrite...

It hurts when you believe in someone and suddenly you knew that she is actually talking behind your back..It hurts more when you yourself, put your trust in her...so yeah, its frustrating...

okay, enough with the  sad stosry....

I've been sleeping for hours today haha...since it is SUNDAY...so i have all the rights to be lazy as much as i want, and lay on bed as long as i can...haha...

Lets enjoy your  Sunday people...:-)

Thinking out loud

When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks

And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are

When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm
I know you will still love me the same

'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory

I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
I just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand

But baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh

So baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

Oh maybe we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are

Read more: Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

9.31pm..........

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life

Take me on a date
I deserve a break
And don't forget the flowers every anniversary
'Cause if you'll treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need

You got that 9 to 5
But, baby, so do I
So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies
I never learned to cook
But I can find a hook
Sing along with me
Sing-sing along with me (hey)

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special lovin'
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right
Even if I was wrong
You know I'm never wrong
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life (hey, baby)
Dear future husband,
Make time for me
Don't leave me lonely

I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (hey)
Open doors for me and you might get some kisses
Don't have a dirty mind
Just be a classy guy
Buy me a ring
Buy-buy me a ring, babe

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting crazy
Tell me everything's alright

Dear future husband,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special loving
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

Future husband, better love me right 

*dear future husband, please take note...

....11.48pm

Andai pastinya ku tahu
takkan aku tinggalkanmu
namun masih keliru
teringat masa lalu

Tetap
tiada ku lupakan
Indah
setiap sentuhan
Cinta yang kau tinggalkan
Kekalnya berdampingan

Mana ?
harus ku hamparkan
Rindu tiada kesudahan
Sesal
biar separuh nyawa takkan hilang

Masih terasa nafasmu
lembut menusuk jiwaku
tenang dihembus bayu
membawa khabar rindu

Tapi sulitku ku teruskan
Engkau jauh ke hadapan
Aku tabah berjalan
Sembunyikan harapan

15-8

Hari kita 1.08 am

Barangkali aku memang perahsia yang tegar

Aku luahkan apa yang ada di sekelilingku

Tapi

Aku diamkan apa yang benar duduk dalam hati

Mungkin tersilap kata dari aku

Kamu fikir itu salahmu

 

Aku perhati, faham benar yang kamu tak dapat lihat dan baca apa dalam hati

Suaraku kamu masih tidak dapat beza

Aku sedih, namun masih ketawa denganmu

Bukan tak mahu beritahu

Tapi kamu masih tak tahu

 

Hari ini

Aku tak mengharap suara mesra, sentuhan manja

Cuma satu, ingatan akan hari ini

Hari kita

Bukan kerana tarikhnya semata

Selamat ulangtahun

Untuk kita

harapan

Aku duduk, termenung di penjuru katil
Banyak benda Bermain di fikiran
Masa depan dan masa kini yang belum pasti

Semakin lama
Merenung jauh
Ingatan kepada memori dulu
Saat jadi budak polos,
dengar kata dan sedikit suci daripada dosa mungkin.

Aku ingin kembali jadi budak polos.
Agar aku tak perlu fikir masalah orang dewasa yang tak habis
Agar aku tak perlu bersedih,berduka
Agar aku mampu senyum penuh ikhlas

Tapi Allah itu adil
Apa yang Ada di hadapanku
Itu rahmat penuh hikmah
Mungkin dek kerana hati terlalu gelap
Mata tak jelas nampak

Terima kasih pada yang sayang aku penuh ikhlas
Aku doa moga
Allah beri kemudahan,beri jalan
Moga kalian tidak sesat saat buntu
Walaupun aku tak mampu duduk sebelah kamu saat susah kamu
Ingat satu, setiap saat doaku buat kamu.

its ramadhan..again!

Alhamdulillah...Allah gave us the opportunity to be able to fast again this year, and be able to perform our duty as a Muslim... always remember that whenever we get the chance, means that Allah wants us to improve more and to do more that what we did in the previous Ramadan...

For me, this year of celebrating Ramadan is slightly different than the previous Ramadan that I ever had..more fun, more meaningful and I feel bless and grateful to Allah for all the nikmat He had granted to me...

So, I want to share with anyone who is reading this post about my previous Ramadan that I think will make us learn something which I hope is beneficial for all of us Inshaa Allah..

I started fasting during Ramadan since I was around 7 years old..at first, it was hard..Imagine a 7 years old little girl, that suddenly was told by her parents "dear, this year Ramadan U need to fast"...I never see the hikmah behind it, up until now... I though fasting was all about no eating, no drinking, breaking fast like you have not eat for thousand years...I was quite embarrassed myself once I remember my" Fasting moments" previously..Ramadan is something special actually, indeed.

When we fast because we think that we have to,  we need re-set our intentions. We are actually having the wrong idea once we have that kind of mentality in our mind about fasting.

Personally, I started to notice that fasting is special when I was watching television, there was this motivator from a religious show, who said that "the prophet was in war when he was fasting and during Ramadan he went through a lot of war"...I felt like "even the prophet was going through a lot of thing during Ramadan,i should be be able to be stronger and shouldn't make Ramadan as the reason why I cannot do my things"...

Lots of people, even myself always make reason to not doing nothing during Ramadan  just because we cannot eat so we are so weak we can do nothing. seriously, I found this as the most lame reason ever, after I noticed that even when U are fasting U can still do everything U want to do. Can't U see why Prophet saw asked us, his ummat to wake up early in the morning and to eat or sahur?

Sahur is the thing that differentiate us Muslim with the Jewish, in terms of fasting... we eat something so that we will have the energy for the rest of the day. Previously, it was so hard for me to sahur, but this year I am determined enough to wake up and eat something during sahur..back then, my parents used to bring me a glass of milk, or a glass of water..at least I drink something just to follow the sunnah..what a spoilt brat I was... but now, I eat with my family during sahur, and I realise that this is one of the speciality of Ramadan which is sahur, U wake up with your eyes barely open but U still have the courage to sit on the dining table and eat something because you want to fast, you want to gain the thawab, or good deeds right from Allah. This is what make it so special.

Everything we do is for Allah, originally then it is counted as ibadah as long as it is not haram..remember this... how many of us, do something, and our nawaitu is "lillah hi taala?'..
Sometimes, or most of the time we forget... but if are reading this, then let us do some changes..while we are still alive and while Allah still give us the chance..do something...

Let it be small, rather have than nothing...
Actually I have a lot more to write but need to work on something..but I hope this will benefits anyone who are willing to read...

Happy Ramadan, 10 days has passed..another 20 days to go..

P/s:i am not an ustazah or a motivator, but a Muslim who wish to share her experience...

Dealing with too many issues?ask yourself why does it happen.

In life, you cannot expect your life to be so amazing. There are times when you have to open up yourself to deal with the problems or issues.

Personally, I deal with random issues which are, for me, UNEXPECTED. Relationship, studies, family and friends are usually on my problem's list...The truth is that you cannot avoid yourself from facing any issues. No matter how constantly you are dealing with it, deal with it wisely.

Hmm who loves issues? who likes to have problem? no one...but who can guarantee that life without problem would be better?...

Facing the issue is a solution, deal with it is better than letting it go without knowing that it is settle. which one do u prefer? Let it go just like that OR do something about it..

As we grow up, the way we solve things or problems will definitely be different. You need to decide on your own which path is the best to be taken. You need to think of your surrounding, and the people who loves you. At the end, what you choose is the best for you and everyone. But if u feel something missing after deciding, then something is wrong somewhere. so review back the solution and decision u have made.

Deep in your heart, you will know what is the best. Think with  your brain, feel with your heart. Do not misuse the brain and heart.

If you decide something just like "biarlah,lantaklah, whateverlah", trust me you are not solving the problem. Hati tak ikhlas, perbuatan pun akan kelihatan macam tak redha.

I am not a psychologist...I am a student, who has problem with herself and hope she can give something to people who read this..This remind me of a hadith narrated from Prophet SAW

Dari Abu Ruqayah Tamim bin Aus Ad-Dhari r.a, bahawasanya Nabi SAW bersabda : ' Agama itu adalah nasihat. ' Kami sekelian bertanya : ' Untuk siapa ? ' Maka jawab Rasulullah SAW : ' Bagi Allah, kitabNya, RasulNya dan bagi penganjur-penganjur kaum Muslimin dan orang awamnya. '

keep sharing...:)

Mother...mama...

This entry has nothing to do with mother's day...because for me, everyday is a mother's day...whatever that u guys call as "appreciation" to a mother, it should be done everyday..

So here is a special entry about my mama..an angel, a best-friend. Most importantly, my everything...

Mama is a an outstanding person...since I was a kid, up until now, she is the best and remained the way she is...never change, never...My childhood was not a very good thing to be remember, I deal with the situation of my family, my parents and how they keep on doing the best to feed us all..10 of us...

We used to live in a very small flat...because at that time, papa need to make sure that he had enough money to be given to my siblings who were studying in and outside of Malaysia...daddy's salary wasn't enough so mama worked...she sold kuih, basically foods...but the thing is that, she didn't jual dekat satu tempat...she brought it almost everywhere...there was this mall at Sabah, my mum used to walk from satu kedai to another with her bakul, and jual la to the workers at the shop...diaorang dah biasa dengan mama, so its not a big deal la...

Early In the morning, around 5 am...mama bangun, and started buat kuih...get us ready to school, wake us up and everything la...in the afternoon, mama pergi jual kuih..usually, I will only follow her on Friday cuz habis sekolah awal kan...so bole ikut..I was only seven at that time...she usually left me at this Chinese salon, because she's afraid that I will got tired if I follow her around the mall...

I remembered this one time, it was Ramadhan and it was my first ramadhan...first time puasa..mummy needs to buy things dekat pasar...sibuk pula nak ikut mama...then, sampai dekat pasar, I felt dizzy and about to faint...mama was so worried and she asked for a chair from the penjual...she let me sat on her lap. until I felt better...then she bought me Apollo..haha gile Apollo kot dulu, so without hesitate I ate it, mampu pose tak sampai setengah hari pun...

As I grow up, I spent most of time with mama at kampong...no one at home, unless on weekend because everybody dah kahwin, belajar and etc...so only me, mama and papa left at home...so I shared almost everything with mama...everything..she was like 50+ at that time..Imagine your mom listen to your story everyday and always came out with good advise...no wonder I couldn't hide anything from her...she knows me too well...

Up until now, she knows when I merajuk...when I feel mad and sentap...sometimes, as a child, u will feel sentap with your mother..usually daughters will feel this way..but one thing for sure, our mother actually feel that they had gave us fair and equal treatment....they never feel like lebih-lebih2kan sesiapa...only we, feel that sometimes we were not been given fair treatment...


maybe, once we be a mother, we will surely understand the feeling better...

love u mama-farah-

Dealing with my sisters...

Having 4 sisters and to be the youngest is not an easy thing for me to deal with...yet this is what I call a "bless"

I sometimes see people complaining about how they cannot co-op with their sisters, or for some of them who are unfortunate enough to have sisters are actually common.
But for me, having 4 sisters hmmm is a drama!

Before I start, hehe....I actually have 5 brothers, too..but my brothers are a bit dysfunctional and only functions when there is something big came up...hehe well, they are guys so what is there for them to bother or to be bother of?right?

I love ALL of them..especially my sisters...for me, my sister are always there for me...for almost everything and each of them have their own attitude, roles and specialty....

Hmm lets start with my lovely along...my 2nd mama....hehe...funny, yet very outspoken and serious..hehe...we call her manager for any family event, she is very good at handling things, maybe because of a lot of experiences she've been through makes her so capable in handling things...ohh and she's very good at cooking..just like mama...Along is a bit sensitive actually, but she usually keep everything all by herself....susah gila tengok dia nangis except when there is something yang buat dia tersentuh sangat...but  mama always remind me, and the others that " along is like a mother to each one of us, so we need to respect her as much as we respect mama"...so please, don't argue with her or u will lose.....hehe

Itha, hehe she's the brutal yet very motherly....kih2...she's quite outspoken too and sangat memberi nasihat....one thing  yang dia cakap " kalau orang buat kita, kita jangan buat orang"...she don't really care what people say, I mean in a good way...and very funny...very...hehe....

Anor, hehe the cutest among all....but she's quite moody sometimes...she do whatever she thinks best...hehe ....

Adik..this one...hmm I dont' know whether to call her my sister or my lit sister...seriously we fight a lot...but she's a good friend of mine...up until now....and sometimes I forgot she's already married..hehe....guess why?...haha never mind, can't tell in public I guess...but the thing about her is that she's very tak kisah...if u look at her..i mean physically...hehe dalam Allah je tahu kan...

The thing about my sister, they sometimes deal with issue among them and I became like blur because I don't know whether I should get involved with it or not...hehe and I have to be neutral...hehe but I love the fact that we actually love each other..tak kisahlah how much we disagree on something, at the end we accept the difference and just go with it...no big deal... and I don't know how my life will be without the four them..because they are the apples to my pie...and it won't tasty without the apples....love u guys...just so u know...

lit sister-farah-

My relationship stories..

Semua orang ingin rasa dicintai...dan mencintai....most importantly, element give and take harus ada in every single relationship yang korang create...RELATIONSHIP for me is a big word with a big responsibilities yang korang kena uphold..Dalam konteks perbincangan, the type of relationship yang akan dibincangkan adalah "love relationship between you and your special one".

Dalam Islam pun ada terms taaruf je...Tapi disebabkan kita ni semua dah otak secular, jadi kita semua dah terjebak ke dalam lembah "couple" ni...

Tapi pada aku, mungkin ini semua bergantung pada kefahaman dan pendirian masing-masing..
Dan kita tak boleh nak fikir buruk pada mereka yang berpasangan sebelum kahwin..as long as dorang pandai jaga diri, jaga nama mak ayah dan mak ayah tahu everything SEmua akan ok inshaa allahh...

Tahun ni masuk tahun ke-4 aku dengan Encik...banyak betul ranjau dan duri disulami detik bahagia sepanjang perhubungan ini...Macam-macam stage la kitaorang dah go through...tapi satu bendala pasal dia yang aku memang respek..kesabaran kot...dan perubahan die ke arah kebaikan...serius menyentuh jiwa...sebab pada aku, lelaki yang berubah untuk kebaikan dan mempunyai kesabaran yang tinggi ni cukup matang untuk go through benda lain dalam hidup...

Aku ni suka jugak buat hal..tetiba buat dia sakit hati..tapi tak pernah pulak dengar die tinggi suara marah aku,naik tangan nak pukul ke....

Every relationship xde yang perfect..even kekadang dia ada jugak mood tak stabil, angin dia datang tapi dia akan diam lah banyak....ada je masa-masa aku rasa nak menangis bila gaduh dengan dia...

hehe tapi satu fakta perempuan kene terima, lelaki memang kebanyakannya kurang senses...

Hakikatnya, macam mana korang terima partner korang seadanya...that's all matter..


sayang awak <3 p="">

Reality

Pada saat korang "landing" atas tilam empuk korang, pernah tak korang fikir sesuatu?Atau korang cuma landing baik punya lepas tu terus tido?

Setiap kali aku landing atas katil empuk yang dipinjamkan ini, mesti otak aku ligat berfikir...kalau orang tengok muka aku, mesti orang akan cakap yang aku jenis orang yang tak ada masalah..seronoklah tengok muka pasty label orang..

Hakikatnya,tak kisahlah macam mana sekalipun bentuk muka orang, haruslah jugak dorang ni ada masalah...samalah juga seperti aku...

Masalah..semua orang pun ada masalah...ade jenis orang suka nak orang tahu dan ambil berat tentang masalah dia...ada jugak jenis die tak berapa suka orang taw masalah dia, dan die akan buat apa yang termampu nak selesaikannya..

Ada jenis suka tulis apa dia rasa...contohnya akulah...sebab aku rasa menulis bole buat aku rasa rilex sikit...tak semestinya kena tulis ayat jiwang,sedih bagai....tak semestinya jugak kena tulis macam sasterawan Negara...tak semestinya pun kena tulis untuk buat kau rasa rilex..bergantunglah pada empunya diri...

Tapi satu jela, aku jenis takkan bagi orang faham apa masalah aku..kalau aku cerita, orang takkan perasan yang aku tak cerita sepenuhnya..so kebanyakannya akan rasa macam fahamlah apa aku rasa..tapi aku boleh tahu jenis orang yang betul nak dengar masalah aku, dengan yang tak berapa nak dengarlah...kadang-kadang mak ayah aku pun kurang memahami masalah aku, kenapa?sebab aku tahu kalau aku cerita detail sangat nanti ia akan bertukar menjadi kerisauan yang berpanjangan buat mereka...nasihat aku, jangan bebankan mak ayah dengan masalah korang melainkan mak ayah korang tu bukan jenis risau yang kritikal lah..

ada satu rasa dalam hati aku yang tak mahu membebankan orang...tapi kalau aku bengang sangat aku meluah jela dekat bestie aku ZAYNOR....hehe tengok huruf besar tak....hakikatnya, aku membesar dengan dia, macam2 benda dengan dia...Di saat aku telefon dan die dengar suara aku, dia dah bole detect yang aku ni dalam mod stabil atau tak...dia memang dah tahu...most of the timelah...sebenarnya aku tak nak banyak, zay ni is a good listener...a good listener pada aku adalah die dengar every detail yang dikatakan....she's more like a sister to me la, even though we are connected through blood relation, we are more than bff...

sebenarnya, bukan senang aku nak cerita apa aku rasa...kadang orang senang je nak judge aku...senang je nak kata macam2...tapi bukan tahu pun ape2...tak semestinya kenal 5 bulan, boleh buat kau kenal orang tu macam 20 tahun....nak kenal orang bukan senang...honestly..

semua orang perasaan lain2...cara pun lain..jadi janganlah harap yang apa kita buat pada orang, orang akan buat the same pada kita...

tq-nyte.

bff-zaynor I love u...

the inside

MUNGKIN KU TAK BISA MENYATAKAN

APA YANG TERLINTAS DI BENAKKU

BUKAN KERANA KU TAK MENYINTA

CUMA KERANA KU TAK MAMPU MENATAP MATAMU

TAPI

 BUKANKAH SEMUA RASAKU

SEDIA KAU TAHU

TANPA KU PERLU

MENGAPAI PENA DAH MENULIS APA YANG ADA

 DIHATIKU


p/s: credit to lala for the song!

Lacuna

I am sorry,
If i'm being over-reacted
I know we how much you have tried
I know how much you love

But

 There are time, where I feel
You are not with me
Literally
There are time, where I feel sad and mad at you
And I just could not tell it easily
Because
I don't want to hurt your feeling

Eventually, I did

I'm sorry for not being able to comprehend your feeling
I'm sorry for being dysfunctional when u need me
I'm sorry for  being honest and let you hurt so much

and

I'm sorry if I let myself write so much about what I feel inside
Because now I am afraid
to tell...

dead line

Mata tak rasa nak ditutup lagi
Cuma mahu berbaring
Cuba buang rasa sedih di hati
Mungkin tidak mampu aku bilang
Mungkin kerana aku tahu apa akan terjadi kalau aku kata
Mungkin jadi aku yang dulu lebih baik
Simpan apa aku rasa dalam hati
sebab hati saja yang faham
apa yg ada didalam.

argh!

Aku marah!
Jangan beri alasan
Aku tak mampu dengar
Aku tak boleh terima
Bilang saja
Kata benci,kata hina
Katalah apa sahaja
Aku tetap marah
Dengan kamu
Rasa panas sahaja aku rasa
Mahu aku tenang?
Lebih baik biar saja.

Aku Rasa

Orang kata

“Kau senyum saja kala derita”

Orang kata

“Kau buat biasa macam tiada apa-apa”

Orang kata

“ Kau duduk diam, terima saja”

 

Aku mulai penat dengan orang yang berkata

Aku mulai tertanya

Orang-orang ini mungkin tidak tahu

Aku punya rasa

Aku punya jiwa

Mana mungkin aku senyum saat berduka

Jauh sekali hendak buat biasa macam tiada apa-apa

Tapi

AKu mampu duduk diam,terima saja

Kerana orang takkan ingin tahu

Apa aku rasa.

3-4-2014

Saat pertama aku lihat
Aku tak punya rasa
Aku fikir biasa saja
Aku fikir tiada yang istimewa

Kita tak banyak bicara
Fikir sendiri saja
Siapa tahu kau begitu berbeza
Hingga aku mulai rasa "cinta"

Kau bilang kau tahu sayang
Tapi tak pernah kata kau tahu cinta
Bila kita berdua
Baru kau tahu rasa dua-dua


Awalnya
Kita teman
Teman tapi mesra

Tapi
Saat kita jauh
Kenapa ya aku rasa
Seperti ingin dekat
Dapat lihat kau rasa cukup erat

Hati aku kata:
Dia untuk aku
Aku untuk dia

Walau kadang-kadang fikiran kita berbeza
Pendapat kita tak sama
Tapi kau masih di situ
Tunggu aku

Walau aku marah tiba-tiba
Kau tetap diam
Kau tetap tenang
Buat aku terpinga-pinga

Kau terlalu istimewa
Biar orang kata apa
Aku percaya
Diri kau sebenarnya

Selamat hari jadi sayang
Tak kira berapa banyak angka
Aku tetap cinta  dan sayang
Aku tetap terima seadanya


-selamat hari lahir 24-...